Monday Morning

It’s the first Monday of the New Year! If any of you have made resolutions, today’s the day to actually take them seriously...and for those of you who didn’t make resolutions, I’m glad you’re perfect and don’t need to change!

Last year my New Year’s Resolution was to drink more water. Looking back, that was an achievable resolution but really lame. That resolution is equivalent to someone giving up bananas for Lent. Like good for you and I’m sure you can do it, but the rest of us are giving up chocolate and wine over here so don’t feel too high and mighty about your lame bananas.

 

This year I’m getting way cooler and cuter about my resolutions.

 

The first resolution is inspired by Mother T:

let-no-one-ever-come-to-you-without-leaving-better-and-happier-quote-1.jpg


I want to be a positive force in 2016. It’s easy to be kind to strangers or friends, but sometimes I have a short fuse with my loved ones. I want to get better at that...and I think living under Mother Teresa’s lil quote for 2016 will be a positive reminder throughout the year.

The second resolution is inspired by some quote I screenshotted off of Instagram and buried into the oblivion that is my iPhone camera roll:

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In about a month, I’ll be moving to a new city and pursuing passions that most rational people would certainly advise me against. That’s okay, because it’s my life and I just so happen to be an irrational lunatic! This year, I’m going to be fearless about chasing my dreams and this cheesy lil quote sums up that mentality pretty nicely.

I hope you all aren’t too cool to make resolutions for yourselves because honestly the world is seeming pretty scary lately and it would be dope if a bunch of us tried to be better than we were yesterday.

Also, look! I semi-conquered my crippling fear of heights by ziplining on New Year’s Day! It actually wasn’t that high of a zipline but whatever, the year of fearlessness began on the right foot. Plus that harness was really on-trend:

 


Here’s to a great year!

 

 

DJ Khaled's 5 Rules for Nailing a Job Interview

Fat Joe and Mother Teresa had a baby and his name is DJ Khaled. The dude truly finds inspiration in everything and is living a forever #blessed life. Don’t believe me? Watch this video my friend Eric sent me and prepare for your worldview to shift:


He’s the perfect person to hype you up and inspire you before a stressful situation. And what’s more stressful than a job interview (probably many things like being kidnapped or not having enough money at the grocery store)? In short, DJ Khaled is the spiritual/professional guide we’ve all been waiting for:

DJ Khaled’s 5 Rules for Nailing a Job Interview

(All photos courtesy of DJ Khaled's Snapchat)

1. Give Thanks

Walk into that interview and internally express gratitude for every single thing you see (“Wow I’m thankful for that ficus in the corner.” “Thank God for this comfortable chair.”). Then, vocally express gratitude for the opportunity, “Thanks for having me and for this opportunity. I’m excited to learn more about the position.” WOW bingbangboom you’re off to a great start.

2. Trust Your Genius

You a genius! You’ve made it this far--think about those peasants that didn’t even land an interview. Prove them right about you, lil Einstein, and show off your smarts!

3. Live Smooth and Be Positive

Don’t choose to live rough! Sure, this interview is a high pressure situation but remember: this person wants you to be the right fit for the company, too. They want you to succeed. So stay calm, live smooth, and put out positive vibes. You won’t attract anyone with negative energy! Be upbeat, engaging, and make sure your skin is smooth (no one wants to hire someone with flaky skin).

4. Grow

“What is your biggest weakness?” Ugh, this question sucks. Here’s a thought: Answer honestly. Then, lay out your plan for overcoming that weakness. Nobody’s perfect*, but as long as you convey that you’re constantly trying to grow both personally and professionally, you won’t be faulted for your imperfections.

*Except DJ Khaled

I remember when this tree was small. Now look at it. It’s called growth.
— DJ Khaled

5. Don’t wait. Open the door

If you want something, go get it. End the interview by making sure the interviewer knows how much you want the position. This works: “I’m confident that I’m the best candidate for this position, and in case I haven’t been clear, I really want this job.” It sounds stupid, but you’ve got to close the sale.


 

And look, if you don't crush this interview, there's always next time. You've got to go through the brown grass to get to the green.

Sometimes it [the grass] turns brown. I said that’s a part of life. Trials and tribulations
— DJ Khaled

 

 

So, go get ‘em tiger! And while you’re at it, follow DJ Khaled on Snapchat: DjKhaled305

 

 

Surviving the Holidays: A Thanksgiving Day Drinking Game

Look, we all love our families. They might be weird and annoying sometimes, but they’re there for us when the going gets tough; and for that, we're thankful. 

This Thanksgiving, my fam is keeping T-day pretty low-key; though, I know some of you won't be so lucky. You’ll be surrounded by dozens of extended family members, forced to answer questions you’re not equipped to answer, while your Great-Uncle Merkle feeds his teeth to your dog. To those Thanksgiving warriors: I salute you, I’m here for you, please text me photos of your Great-Uncle Merkle.

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This year, survive an awkward extended family Thanksgiving by playing The Fake Adult's Thanksgiving Day Drinking Game! Click here for a bank of delicious drink recipes from your favorite Food Network stars (this post is not sponsored by the Food Network but probably should be)! Make a few of these specialty cocktails and play with your cool siblings/cousins--really anyone who needs escape and agrees that this Thanksgiving should be the most turnt Thursday of the year:

A relative asks about your relationship status

Someone makes a comment about someone's weight

You’re forced to make small-talk with your weirdest family member

An older relative says something mildly racist and gets away with it

(c/o The Odyssey)

(c/o The Odyssey)

An older relative says something extremely racist and gets away with it

A family member BRINGS THEIR NEW BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND

Your little cousin does something that makes you never want children

Your grandfather farts and blames it on the dog

(c/o Giphy)

(c/o Giphy)

A random person shows up

A FAMILY MEMBER SAYS, "OUR COUNTRY NEEDS DONALD TRUMP"

Someone over the age of 17 starts crying

your mom suggests everyone around the table state what they’re thankful for

(c/o Buzzfeed)

(c/o Buzzfeed)

 

Surviving this Thanksgiving with your weird family just got a whole lot easier. Happy Thanksgiving lil turkeys!